IV
The soil shifts underfoot, as the earth moves forward to collect it’s sky-folk kin. Looking on are the many faces of the forest - the bodies of great trees, the keen eyes of beasts, the formless breath of the wind, the softest fingers of mushrooms that caress the feathered body. All gathering in a final embrace, before they reclaim the precious bones for their own.
As the moss spreads itself over the grave, the spirit kneels down, taking the golden thread in both hands. In a swift, decisive motion, it breaks the thread in two - the half belonging to the hummingbird retreating in to the ground, losing its shimmer as it coils down in to the deep.
It’s at this very moment, that the spirit acknowledges you for the first time - its pearly eyes two endless pools, magnetic as the tide. You feel, rather than hear the words as they pour towards you, through you -
“Are you ready to learn my name…?”
SONG: FLESH TO FLOWER
After Matty died, a shaman connected me with hummingbird medicine. A few days later, 3 tiny birds landed outside my window, and told me to write 3 songs for him. Those 3 songs are the core of Cycles.
This song is me asking my brother what it will be like to die… and what it was like for him. Though I was hundreds of kilometres away, I saw vividly the moment of his passing, and saw his spirit shape for many days afterward. The veil between the worlds became very thin that day, and has remained that way since.
Directed by Tim Kent( Stackhat), on Gumbaynggir land.
Filming this clip was a rite of passage in itself. Tim & I did it with a 2-person crew (as in… just Tim & I), and it was a huge undertaking. Tim had to literally carry me over barbed wire fences and muddy rivers, and there were lots of moments I said “I can’t do it.” But we made it.
The narrative is very simple - an encounter with a water spirit - but it speaks to the way we want to capture & cling to the people & things we love, when ultimately we always have to surrender them in the end.
Performed by Georgia Robinson & filmed by Braeden Lee, on Gadigal land.
Georgia & Braeden contacted me before Flesh To Flower was even released, and asked if they could create something to the song.
I’ve always wanted to collaborate with a dancer, and seeing Georgia translate this song through movement is such an honour. I wept & wept when they sent me this. I hope it gives you another lens to view Flesh To Flower through.
FLESH TO FLOWER: LYRICS & SKETCHES
This might be my favourite string arrangement of the record.
It was the first one Dryden did and as soon as he sent me a section of it, I was overcome with the ‘correctness’ of working with him on these songs.
The detail, tenderness and magic were really moving… I hope to eventually do a strings-only version of the record.
RITUAL: SEEDS OF INTENTION
plants as allies, plants as friends
In this ritual we are calling on the energy of nature as an ally and teacher, to assist us in moving through grief.
Gardening and working with the energy of plants has been a huge source of healing for me, through nurturing and receiving. The wisdom of the life cycle is embedded in tending the plant, and even this alone has been powerful for me in learning to live with, and alchemise, loss.
For this ritual, you will need an edible flower seed.
We are going to develop a relationship with a plant, from seed to flower, and complete the life cycle by consuming its blossoms.
One of my most precious allies is borage, a beautiful plant with vibrant blue edible flowers & cucumber-tasting leaves. It grows quickly and easily, and in most conditions.
Borage is known as a flower of courage, and we can call on the spirit of borage when we have to face something difficult.
YOU NEED:
A flower pot of any size
Edible flower seeds (such as borage, calendula, pansy, chamomile, nasturtium, marigold)
Soil
Paper & pen/pencil
A small slip of paper
A small envelope or pouch (instructions to make one below)
THE RITUAL:
Place your seeds inside the envelope or pouch. While holding them, close your eyes and ask the spirit of the plant to work with you. If you’ve never worked with plants before, this may seem strange - but like any new relationship, it’s important to tread lightly and with respect.
Listening deeply, form an intention for the planting ritual. Feel in to something you believe would assist you in moving through grief, for example ‘courage’, ‘hope’, ‘joy’, or ‘acceptance’.
Write the intention on the slip of paper, and place it in the pouch with the seeds.
To strengthen your bond with the plant, you can place the seeds on your altar for a day, or sleep with them under your pillow for a night.
The following day, plant a few of the seeds in your chosen pot. As you plant them, treat them like you would someone you care about deeply. You can speak to them, or just mindfully place them in the soil.
Nurture the seeds, and let them grow. Observe the life cycle with curiosity and reverence. Water them like you are bringing food to a close friend.
Finally, when the plant blooms, ask the plant if you can harvest the flowers… and with gratitude, eat them (or make them in to a tea).
Feel in to the magic inside the flower as you eat it - flower becoming part of flesh, your intention having been sown through the plant’s life cycle, finally being brought to fruition.
CONNECT
The writing, photographs, stories & conversations you have shared with me so far have been incredibly moving.
There are some deep conversations happening over at the Dream Army Discord HERE…. but my inbox is always open. Let me know what’s coming up for you, how you’ve been feeling throughout the experience - and if you do the Planting Ritual, I’d love to know what it was like for you.
People have been sharing their Part One & Two rituals, as well as sending me some beautiful writing from Part Three - so its not too late to dive in and share.
Need a primer on Discord? I get it - I was confused at first, too! Click HERE for a simple rundown.
INTERMISSION
My brother’s funeral was both heartbreaking and hilarious. Sort of how our lives have been, really.
Here’s what I mean -
I can’t explain the devastation of seeing a coffin, and knowing my brother is inside it. I really, really can’t.
I’m sorry if that is blunt; but death, in some moments, completely lacks poetry. Sometimes the reality of it is nothing but jarring, terrifying and sad.
The funeral service was a blur, punctuated by moments of extreme focus - my brother’s childhood friend breaking down during his speech, ‘the boys’ standing shoulder to shoulder openly weeping, my grandfather suddenly turning grey, and my father… I don’t have words for the look of devastation on his face.
But here is where Matty’s cheeky, larrikin spirit enters the story.
Once everyone’s tributes were done, “Ass Like That” by Eminem starts absolutely blaring over the loudspeaker. It feels hilarious even now, telling you this during the reverence of the forest funeral - but thats the paradox, isn’t it? The cosmic joke of living & dying. Everyone looked at each other in shock for a moment, before the entire chapel-room burst in to laughter. Even my grandfather smiled for a moment, shaking his head in feigned embarrassment.
When we walked outside, hundreds of people had gathered… I didn’t recognise even one of them.
Turns out they were friends of Matty’s from all over the place, that none of us even knew about, spilled across the cemetery lawns.
